A man was sitting restless and disheartened at his
home remembering his boss, who didn’t promote him. He made every effort to calm
his mind by having tranquilizers, and by pouring out his frustration infront of
his friends. Meanwhile the repeated whistle of the pressure cooker in the kitchen
irritated him. He shouted at his 5-year-old son asking him to put off the sound.
The boy wondered why he was being shouted at by his beloved father. The boy went
into kitchen and tapped on the valve of the nozzle. It was quiet for some time.
After some time, the pressure increased in the cooker and it again started
whistling. He tapped it once again and it was quite for sometime again.This happened repeatedly. Then the boy applied pressure with his
hand. He felt the pressure is mounting up inside the pressure cooker. He
understood that the lid may blow off any time if he continues to put pressure
on the nozzle. Then he started searching
for alternatives. In that process he found out the cause of the pressure in the
cooker is the flame beneath it. He quickly put off the flame. The heat, the
pressure in the cooker and the sound from the nozzle came down slowly.
Behaviour is the manifestation of the
feel:
Just like the whistle is the outcome of the pressure
building up in the cooker. The speech and acts of the boy’s father are the
outcomes of the pain and emotion built up within him. There was a transient
relief of the pain of the father after sharing his feel with his friends, or after
he took tranquilizer. It is just like the silence in between the whistles of
the cooker when a part of the steam escapes from it. The inappropriate furious
reaction of the father to his son due to grief is similar to explosive pressure
in the cooker which push off the lid if there is no outlet from any front. This
is called venting out. Most of the people cannot compartmentalise the pain.
Some people have the source of the pain in workplace and they vent it out on
the family and some people have the pain from family which spoils their
work relationship.
Motivation is the root of the
emotion:
Just like the flame is the root cause for the pressure
in cooker and whistle from the nozzle. Motivation is the cause behind the emotion
and the action. The question is whether we are conscious and have control over
our motivation or not. Conscious and controlled motivation leads to proactive
behavior. Unconscious and uncontrolled motivation leads to reactive
behavior.
The higher the motivation the greater
is the emotion:
The boy’s father was highly motivated to get his
promotion. He linked every small and large part of his life to his promotion.
When he was denied promotion by his boss, the entire motivation was converted
into a painful emotion. This conversion made him feel this as his biggest
tragedy and his boss as his biggest villain.
Suppression of the pain is different
from dissolving the pain:
It is considered socially unacceptable to
show out anger or grief even when we feel the pain inside. Sometimes we have a source
for continuous pain which we cannot remove and painful emotions within us which
we cannot avoid. To make ourselves more socially acceptable we tend to
suppress the emotions covering our face with a smile.
If the flame continues to
give heat but the nozzle refuses to open the outlet. What will happen?
There is an explosion under pressure. It happens when there is no harmony in
the system. Closing the valve to stop the whistle is a temporary arrangement,
however putting off the flame is permanent solution.
In the same way trying to control the pain by
suppressing it gives temporary relief but the pain comes back in a severe form.
However, the permanent solution lies in dissolving the pain. If the source of
pain and suppression is longstanding, after a point it leads to a
burnout.
Motivation Triangle:
We know that a fire triangle comprises of Oxygen, ignition
and fuel. The combination of these three is important to initiate and sustain
the fire. In the same way motivation is a result of Consciousness, will and desire.
Motivation is just like the fire which can be regulated. The boy controlled the fire by regulating the
mixture of oxygen, fuel, and ignition (by regulator). In the same way emotional
pain can be effectively handled by vigilant regulation of the triangle of
motivation i.e. consciousness, will, desire. Just being "conscious" of our true
nature and preventing our “will” and “desire” to outgrow ourselves can help us in
overpowering our motivation.
Yogic science describes 3 gunas, variable combinations
of which is responsible for diversity of human being’s nature.
Tamas-An Unmotivated nature which is the cause of
laziness, procrastination and lack of goal.
Rajas-
An Uncontrolled and unconscious motivation, in which people are over worked,
ambitious, greedy, pleasure seeking. Satvik- A
well-controlled, balanced, consciously motivated state which seeks peace and
truth.
Being conscious of the "self" and willful channelizing of the energies by
controlled burning of fire of motivation is the key behind our freedom.
Well explained by appropriate example
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