.
Once there was a butterfly. It had a child who was
very young. The child crossed the larva stage and became a pupa. The child
wanted to prolong its pupa stage and rest while the parent wanted it to come
out of the pupa stage and spread its wings. The parent butterfly was upset
because the child does not want to spread its wings in the right time which may
limit the flying capacity of the child when it becomes a butterfly. The pupa
wanted to feed more because it believed that feeding more would make its body
more powerful.
The butterfly was deeply concerned about the
child. Out of concern and desperation, the butterfly scolded the pupa
saying “Do not become a parasite, you are becoming my liability”. The pupa out
of anger told the parent, “You have no concern for me. I do not want to be your
liability. I will fly away from the home once I get freedom and strength in the
wings".
The butterfly explained its child with a smile
"My dear child we both want the same thing, to make you fly high. You
believe that nourishing your body makes you more powerful. My knowledge says
that resting without the discipline will increase the body weight and put a
burden on the wings."
The pupa angrily asked the butterfly “you called me
a parasite, what does it mean?” The Butterfly replied "My dear child,
Parasite doesn’t mean that you are parasite, it only means you are in dependent
mode. Every organism starts its life as a dependent. I also lived some part of
my life as a dependent. I want to you get rid of this intermediary phase
quickly by thinking in a mature way."
The pupa asked what about the word liability. The
parent said “The meaning of liability is burden. No child in the world is ever
a physical liability to the parent. The love of the parent for the child turns
into a pain to the parent when it finds that its child is heading towards a
threat. The pain of concern for the child then becomes a burden on the
mind of the parent. The burden of this pain is experienced as a liability by
the parent. It is the pain which is the liability but not the child. Sometimes people don’t mean what they say.”
"Every mother and father want the child to fly
high but not to fly-away."
The pupa understood that it was just a
communication gap between him and his parent. It lived happily ever after with
his parent flying high in the sky.
This short story is a reply letter written by me to my
son. My son wrote a letter to me expressing his displeasure on my words during
a heated conversation. In reply I sent this story as a letter which made him
understand the parent's perspective for the child.
Amazing story
ReplyDeletemany miss understandings in between close relationships
are results miss perceptions of Keywords in a statement
Much needed explanation
Thank you
Fascinating write-up. Short but yet very powerful. After I read "The butterfly - A short story", I felt like had I read the story much earlier in my life, I could have eluded numerous misinterpretations, especially with very close people. Thinking of the past, now I am a bit anxious about my actions and reactions, but anyhow, life is all about learning, so I learned something invaluable through your blog.
ReplyDeleteI always like to read your blog as it is full of excellent insights, and you always made it easier to read and understand.
Fantastic analogy that perfectly conveys the message
ReplyDeleteI’m little lost in words in how a parent tried creatively, sensitively and thoughtfully to reassure a son after a heated conversation
ReplyDelete